she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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