You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
