I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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