I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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