When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
