let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
