Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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