So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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