Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
