Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
