i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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