do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
