I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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