just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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