Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
