I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
