So drunk its hurt
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
