I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
