you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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