i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
