Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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