Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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