That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize