i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Blood and glitter go together right?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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