Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
