If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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