I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
