Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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