I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
