What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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