i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Randomize
