Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it glows. i had to have it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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