I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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