How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
