..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am midnight drunk by noon
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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