He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
