we have officially lost it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
