another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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