god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
