I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
