You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
