Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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