I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
