then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
