Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
