I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
