During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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