so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
