Ikea night.
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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