just tell him i said nine months
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
