from now on my penis is your penis
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
