all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm way too hungover for life right now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
