I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
