she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
