Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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