haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize