I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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