They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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