Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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