You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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