Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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