I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
