Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
