im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
