i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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