I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
